Straight Forward

Sorry for not blogging lately. I've been kind of busy with a bunch of drama and whatnot. And life in general. I go home in less than a month, which is super exciting/ makes me anxious at the same time because I have so much I have to get done! Not to mention pack up!
I keep buying books. I swear, when I get married if I'm still in school, my husband will think I'm insane for having all of these books. But he better have books too.
The weather has been nice here lately. It rained one day, and snowed one day, but for the most part it's been really nice. I thought about taking a walk yesterday, but I had other things to do.

It's funny to me to see how I grow in each relationship. Whether it's just a friend or more than a friend, each relationship makes me learn how to be a better person, and makes me see where I need to improve.

Indulge my memory for a moment-- maybe you will learn something from this entry.

In high school, I dated two guys. Both of them were nice in their own ways but totally not for me. At the time, I couldn't see that. I was so blind and thought I was completely fine with being with them, but I couldn't tell they were destroying my spirit and my relationship with my Mother and the Lord. My mind was always a wreck, I didn't know what to do, or where to go, or how to solve whatever the problem was. I didn't want to run from it because I was afraid of losing something so I just stuck with it. Well, the day finally came when my Spirit decided that I didn't want to be in those situations anymore. I didn't want to be around people who made me compromise my standards, so those boys are long gone.
When I came to college, I fell into a group of friends who saw me as an object rather than a person. I heard the same cards again and again and again. To the point where now, if I hear them, I don't believe them. It's hard for me to believe people, it's hard for me trust people, especially guys. Because all through high school and the first year of college, I was treated a certain way. Not because of anything I did, or who I was, but because of what I looked like-- to them.
Now I see where I went wrong. I wasn't honest and I wasn't open. I didn't speak my mind, I was afraid to say don't do something or don't talk a certain way to me. I was afraid that they would get mad at me, but now. I could care less. If a guy does something I don't like, heck yes I will tell them. If a guy says something that makes me uncomfortable, all I have to do is give him a look to let him know he stepped out of line.
Yes, I make mistakes and sometimes I regress. But I am not perfect and no one else is perfect. This is the time where I have to decide what I really stand for, and I have to let others know that by the way I act. If someone disrespects me or the boundaries that I set, they better watch their back. My words can be more powerful than any action I may ever perform, because when I'm being honest, nothing gets past me.
It's much easier to live life being straight forward.