I don't Have to be Perfect.

One good thing about being a member of the Church and having a testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ, is the knowledge that you have of knowing that you don't have to be perfect.  

But lately I've been reflecting on the year and how I was at the beginning and how I am now.  

I won't go into all the specifics... but I was a different person at the beginning of the year than I feel that I am now.  I feel that I was filled with more light, more knowledge, more sensitivity to the Spirit, and now I feel like I've lost some of that light.  I know this might not be proper in a blog for people to read, but I feel comfortable sharing it with you because I know that all of us have felt that way sometime in our life.  

When you form the habit of reading your scriptures every day and kneeling in prayer to your Heavenly Father and expressing to him the deepest desires of your heart and then somehow something happens that dims that desire, it's kind of hard to fall back into the habit.  

I love my Heavenly Father, I'm so thankful for the scriptures and the opportunity that I have to read them every day if I put forth the effort to open them up.  How priceless the gift of reading the words of ancient prophets.  The Book of Mormon truly is a voice from the dust.  I know that it was written and intended for our day.  

I don't want you to get from this that I have lost faith or lost all desire because I haven't.  My Savior Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father are my biggest sources of strength.  Simply what I'm trying to get across to you is that don't ever lose the desire that you once had.  Never fall back into things that you once partook of.  Flee from the very sight of evil and look for light and truth in all things.  Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and do what you know is right.  When you feel like you can't go on any more and you feel burdened, trust in Christ and have faith that he will deliver you from your afflictions.  

I want you to know that without a doubt, I know that Jesus Christ lives.  I know that our Heavenly Father is mindful of our weaknesses and he will try his best to help us get back to him.  He can never force us to do anything.  He has given us the gift of agency which is an eternal principle.  Christ stands at the door and knocks, it is our choice to open and receive his love or to leave the door shut and close him out of our lives.  Something about that touches me though, to know that Christ who is the Creator of worlds, the author of our spiritual salvation, our elder brother and our friend, stands at the door and knocks, and waits for us to open to Him.. He is so patient with us all.  I'm pretty sure that it takes more than one "knock" to get around to most of us.   

However, I know that through the gift of the atonement I can be forgiven of being stubborn or rebellious, or slow to remember Christ's hands in all things.  I can be a little bit more grateful to Heavenly Father for his Son Jesus Christ, to my Savior for standing at the door and waiting ever so patiently for me to open my heart to his voice.  He is my Shepherd, I am one of his sheep and I know he will never leave me to wander alone. He will seek after me and shelter me just as he will you.  I know these things to be true and I testify to you in the Sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen.